Suffering and the Love of God

The word "suffering" seems offensive. It's scary. We don't like it.  We simply don't understand it.   There seems to be a strong societal view that suffering is to be avoided at all costs.  There should be no suffering and we should do everything in our power and then some to eradicate it.  We should be happy all the time, fulfilled, busy, healthy, productive....if you're not, there's something wrong with you.

I myself am no fan of suffering.   It occurred to me in all of my struggles that the minute suffering enters my abode, I rise up and do everything possible to eradicate it.  That could be why purification is so difficult for me to handle.....it involves alot of suffering.  Most of my distress is caused by trying to beat it down, control it and fix it.   In my mind, the love of God should be pleasant, warm, non-threatening.  It should be building me up, not tearing me down. When you love someone, you don't just throw them to the wolves, you do everything to protect them and keep them safe and comfortable.   Suffering in my book was the enemy.

Sorrow is better than laughter, because when the face is sad, the heart grows wiser.

Sirach 7:3

What?  How could sorrow ever be better than laughter?  That's not what the world tells us!  It does sound crazy, but it's true.  Rather than beating suffering out of our lives, we should be listening to it.  It is very often a loving invitation from God.   Suffering can be the best of teachers.  It can be a great revealer of truth.  It can make the heart grow wiser. I can only speak of my own situation, but I believe that emotional and physical suffering are very often an obvious manifestation of a spiritual sickness.  God allows suffering to reveal truth which can then in turn be healed.   It is why I have come to believe that to allow suffering is an act of God's love for us, not His wrath.

A priest I know once said that "stress doesn't build character, it reveals character".  You could replace the word "stress" with "suffering" and it would still be true.   When everything is going well in our lives,  we are secure in our little kingdom and content with our accomplishments, we rarely see ourselves for who we really are, our true identity.  It's easy to ignore.  We may scratch the surface and admit our various faults, but to be brought face to face with our true character and have all of our masks removed is not humanly desirable.  We avoid it like an unwelcome plague and may even help others avoid it, too.

Could it be that somewhere in our hearts we know when suffering enters our lives that it is allowed as an invitation from God?  Isn't that when we give a thought to God, in the midst of suffering?  Whether they are good or bad thoughts about Him, that's definitely where our thoughts go.  Could it be that our desire to reject suffering in our lives is really an unconscious rejection of God's invitation?  Maybe we really have no desire to attend whatever it is He's inviting us to. We may find the invitation offensive. We refuse to listen to the suffering invitation because we cannot bear it and go about seeking any earthly means possible to fix it.

I love the story of Tobit in the Catholic Bible.  I have always been drawn to it for some reason.  I prayed for St. Raphael's intercession numerous times for my dad, my friend who died of brain cancer, and numerous others who were suffering.  I have never witnessed the results that I desired as a result of those prayers, and in fact the suffering seemed to increase.  I confess I became discouraged.  During the suffering, I could not see what God was doing.  I could only see the suffering, which I thought needless. I was using my prayers to beat the suffering out of their lives, too.   In hindsight, although my exact intention wasn't answered the way I wanted, so much more was learned and received as a result of it.  For those who don't know the story of Tobit, I will give you a brief bottom line but read it for yourself.  It is a beautiful, encouraging story.  If you are struggling in suffering right now, read it.

Tobias, a very virtuous Israelite lives with his wife Anna and his son Tobias.  Due to a strange accident, the elder Tobias goes blind.  Because of this, his family becomes very poor.  In spite of this, he remains constant in his prayers, steadfast in faith and hope in God.  He is mocked for this by his fellow Israelites. At the same time this is happening with Tobias, in another town there was a man named Raguel, a kinsman of Tobias.  He had an only daughter named Sara.  This young girl was on the verge of suicide because seven times she had been given in marriage, and each of her husbands had been killed by an evil spirit on their wedding night.  Sara was accused of murdering them by a servant.  She was despondent, but continued to pray to God.

As it turns out, in God's wisdom, her prayers are answered simultaneously with the prayers of the blind Tobias.  In Tobit 3:25, it states "the holy angel of the Lord, Raphael, was sent to heal them both."

The whole story is amazing and shows that suffering can be very valuable, yet misunderstood. There are many twists and turns in the life of his son Tobias in obtaining help for his father with the assistance of St. Raphael himself.  In the end, Raphael reveals to Tobit in 12:13:  "When you did not hesitate to get up and leave your dinner in order to go and bury the dead, I was sent to put you to the test". 

The moral of the story, as written perfectly by Angela Carol in the book "St. Raphael":
"The problem of pain and suffering has been a mystery throughout the ages.  Only too often, bodily ailments (I would include all crisis...) have been regarded with fear and accepted reluctantly as a harsh, though necessary punishment for sin.  They should rather be looked upon as blessings in disguise, as a means to draw closer to God and show our love for Him.  Had the elder Tobias become sullen and resentful of the blindness that befell him, it is possible that God would not have shown him any special mercy.  However, Tobias did not blaspheme because of his affliction; rather he "continued immovable in the fear of God, giving thanks to God all the days of his life." 

"Many of us, grieving over a sudden misfortune, will moan:  "Why has this happened to me?  Why does God punish me?  What have I done to deserve such a cross?"  Tobias, however, bore his affliction patiently and blessed God for it.  Consequently, he gained much by this seemingly unfortunate experience, for there is no misfortune that God cannot turn into a blessing for those who love Him."

"God has the right to intervene by supernatural means of His own choosing, and it is not for us to dictate to Him how and when this should be done.  When a situation becomes extreme, because of man's folly or helplessness, the action of God's omnipotence shines forth more clearly.  Furthermore, while waiting for a sign of divine mercy, man has the chance to practice and grow in the virtues of patience, humility and faith.  Let us not be hasty in our judgments, lest we fail to see the good in what seems to be bad fortune."


Suffering isn't allowed just for the sake of suffering.  There is always a purpose in it, a lesson. 

We have to desire to see it.  It may not feel at all like the love of God, but it is. 

Have you forgotten that encouraging text in which you are addressed as sons?  My son, do not scorn correction from the Lord, do not resent his training for the Lord trains those he loves, and chastises every son he accepts.  Perseverance is part of your training; God is treating you as his sons.  Has there ever been any son whose father did not train him?

Hebrews 12:5-7

If we are made to know, love, and serve God as his children then we have to trust that every suffering He allows is for our good.  It is to reveal truth, to set us on the right path,  and it could possibly be an answer to prayer.