And the Greatest of These is Love

 If I speak in the tongue of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 All I can say is this is not the love I was raised with.  In fact, it was exactly opposite. It was done under the above guises, though.  I have prayed about this for years now.  My struggles with "love."  What I thought was love turned out to be wrong, as I've written in the past.  It creates quite a quandary when you've lived your life according to one set of ideals, only to have them turned upside down in the midst of a conversion.   I struggle with love...probably because old habits are hard to break.

I brought this to Jesus in prayer last week....my problems and struggles with love.  Actually, it is my fear of love, or what love was in the past.  In my life, those people who said they loved me took it to mean a form of ownership.  It was manipulative, selfish, controlling, jealous, punishing....suffocating.  It was very unhealthy.  It has caused me fear about love.  My question to Jesus was "how do I love others as you have loved me?"

"You cannot love because love is rooted in truth and you are afraid of that....you are afraid to love in truth.  Love is a desire to see all men saved.  Paul, my disciple, loved but spoke truth.  He corrected in love because of his desire to see all men saved.  You view love as giving pleasure. In the world, love is pleasure, lust, removing suffering, making others comfortable.  These attributes do not save souls, they can hinder souls.  Love isn't for this earthly pleasure.  Love should be the motivation to speak truth because you desire that all be saved. This is why I laid down my life, in love.  That all would be saved. To think that love should always be pleasurable is self love.  To give, and do, and protect others from every suffering is for your comfort, not for their good.  There is no fear in love. Divine love casts out all fear.  If you are loving in truth, there should be no fear present. 

 How have I loved you?  

Have I given you everything you desire?  Have I spared you every suffering?  Have I overlooked every offense?  Have I shielded you from every consequence of your actions?  Have I created ease and prosperity in your life?  Have I withheld the truth from you because I was afraid of your anger?  your hurt feelings? your wounded pride?  Did I withhold the truth from you because I was afraid you would leave, never to return?  

The answer to all of these is no.  No, I did not allow you to remain in sin, in error, in sickness because of my love for you.  This is "love one another as I have loved you."