A Complaint from the Lord

 "As though I must win the approval of sinners.  They are promoting a false Christ to do so.  I do not need the approval of my creation!  Instead of man created in My image, man has created Me in his image and demands that I worship him in his sin!  Perversions! My shepherds now demand I adhere to their fear and timidity as though this were pleasing to Me, as though I would agree that I am a menace to the sheep and they are better off with the wolf!" 

"I have proven my love and my mercy.  I have kept My part in the Covenant of My Blood. You have not."

I heard the Lord in my heart on October 30, 2020 at 6:40am speak these words.  We would all do well to repent, and offer our prayers to console the Lord.  He will act. 

The Lord's Lament

I came across this that I had received in 2018.  It was in a notebook I kept in my purse for odds and ends.  I found in reading it today that it seems to pertain to the fruit of the pandemic that started in 2020.  

"So many souls perishing daily and yet my people continue on in the worldly pursuits and entertainments, in and out of Church, with nary a thought about the eternal deaths, torments, and sufferings of their "brothers and sisters."  

"Would you carry on with your entertainments if there were a mass murder taking place? Would you carry on if you were to witness a bomb detonate and destroy millions of souls?  This is what is happening, and this is my Church's response-dissipation, entertainment, fund raising, "fun for all."

"My heart grieves, child.  My heart grieves."

 

Thank you, Amos

The reading at Mass today was from Amos 5:14-15;21-24.  I don't think there is any Scripture more fitting for us at this time.  Spoken so clearly, and directly.  It is truly God speaking to us through His Church.  He has not abandoned us!  He is still waiting, however for a response.

Seek good and not evil,
that you may live;
Then truly will the LORD, the God of hosts,
be with you as you claim!
Hate evil and love good,
and let justice prevail at the gate;
Then it may be that the LORD, the God of hosts,
will have pity on the remnant of Joseph.

I hate, I spurn your feasts, says the LORD,
I take no pleasure in your solemnities;
Your cereal offerings I will not accept,
nor consider your stall-fed peace offerings.
Away with your noisy songs!
I will not listen to the melodies of your harps.
But if you would offer me burnt offerings,
then let justice surge like water,
and goodness like an unfailing stream.

The Word of the Lord.  

Thanks be to God!  

The Shame Game

I see alot on the news sites links to articles about someone who complained about the virus, the stay at home orders, etc.  Then, they test positive!  I take these articles as a shaming.  I find them highly irritating.  I don't understand this need by everyone, this cut throat need, to prove everyone and anyone wrong.  So what if they protested stay at home orders?  So what if they thought they were over reaching, devastating, etc.  That's their business.  People act as though the stay at home orders were somehow going to eradicate or cure this virus.  What exactly did they think would happen when everyone went back out in public?  The virus was never eradicated, the stay at home orders were simply for the hospitals.  That's it.  They didn't want to overload the hospitals.  Which, by the way they didn't but for a few places.  The stay at home orders simply delayed the inevitable....people were still going to catch it. 

Good Lord, enough of all this incessant shaming!  Talk about creating a psychotic society.  You can't even go the grocery store anymore without fear of ending up on social media for some transgression.  Nothing is private anymore, and that is wrong.  Very wrong.  This society is sick, and not because of the virus.  It was incredibly sick before that.  Facebook started it, and it has only grown more vile and ugly and sinful since then.  Don't take part in this.  It seems that the internet has turned into one big gossip tool for Satan to accomplish his goals.  Don't fall into that trap.  I notice on Life Site News, alot of the comments are downright sinful.  The language, the bitterness and guile used by some who supposedly are Catholic is quite revealing, sinful actually.  It's best in this day and age to go by the old adage: "Silence is golden"  Try it sometime if you are tempted to say something sinful and uncharitable. 

In His Name

Who would have thought that such ugliness and violence and hatred would be springing out of the culture that has been created of kindness, considerateness, mercy, and extreme tolerance of all things evil?  You would think that we would be seeing the opposite effect on society.  Here we have bent over backwards for the last ten years or more being inclusive, tolerant and merciful and this is the fruit of that? Isn't that strange?  Nearly everyone was willing to ignore the Truth of the Gospel in order to make every single person feel welcomed, loved, and accepted.  They were even willing to reject God as the harsh Father in order to accomplish their goals.  Woe.  That is what I feel, Woe!

I wonder now if any of the priests that have promoted the false gospel are having second thoughts.  I wonder if they now know that God is watching, He is listening and He knows full well what has been done in the Name of His Son.  Did everyone who constructed this man made religion feel as though they were getting away with something?  Did they presume God didn't know what He meant, and they knew better in "gathering them in?"  I ponder about these things as I watch everything, all over the world, fall.  I ponder them as I sit in Church for Mass and feel like I'm at a dirge.  Although I have peace about all that is happening in the Church because I know God is in control of all things, I still have this feeling that I am watching the last gasps of the Church as we know it.  I praise God that if these things must happen in order to purify His Church, He has and will always make provision for us.  He is faithful, we are not.  Despite the grave unfaithfulness of His flocks and shepherds, God will not abandon us.

I received in prayer once Jesus saying that it was exactly this, He called it "the false culture of kindness" that allowed Satan free reign in the Church.  At the time, about four years ago, He said that "not for long, not for long will they be allowed to promote this any longer in My Name."  I think this is what has been forgotten.  The Sacrifice of the Mass, the Church all act "In HIS NAME".  I honestly never thought of it that way, until I received it in prayer.  Everything said, everything done, is in HIS NAME.  Can you imagine the Lords heart at hearing His Priests, of all people, promoting and approving of mortal sin and calling it good, in HIS NAME?  Can you imagine the Lords heart at hearing His Priests tell His sheep that they will not be judged, in HIS NAME?  Can you imagine the Lords heart at seeing His Priests molest children, in HIS NAME?

The Church seems to have forgotten everything about the Name of Jesus.  So much is now done in our own names in the Church.  So much is man made and obviously done first and foremost to keep the people coming back and giving their money.  How grieved the Lord is.  But.  He will reign again.  This virus, and all it's destruction, death, and misery will actually bring about God's will in His Church.  Last year, in 2019, we were given in prayer that the wicked storm that was shown to us in 2015 was coming. The Lord said "Appolyon is in the storm, and it will not stop until it has accomplished that which I command."  The Lord is so good, but in His Sovereignty can also be severe.  He is intent on cleansing His Church and will not stop until it is accomplished, whatever that may take.  It is our job in this time to pray that souls would respond to God, that these trials would have their effect, and to make reparation for the grave sins committed against the Holy Trinity, especially by His Shepherds.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us. 

Justice

I have to give voice to my inner frustrations.  Why is everyone afraid to pray for justice?  Why is praying specifically for Justice, God's Justice, eyed with shame and almost accusation of being a merciless person, judgmental, unforgiving.  When did it become law that we are only allowed to pray for Mercy?

I asked the Lord about Justice, oh it was nearly 9 years ago.  His response was "justice restores hope." I pondered that, and realized that yes, it does!  Take for example a child who is being incessantly bullied at school, or even at home.  This child has become so very discouraged, downtrodden, hopeless by the injustice perpetrated against him every day that he no longer wants to live.  So, in comes justice.  Finally!  The perpetrator is reigned in, the child is free to come and go in liberty, his hope is restored!

There has been a strange line of thought in some Catholics that we are never to ask for justice in any situation.  I think it's because we are taught, and read constantly that Jesus suffered injustice, so we should, too.  Injustice has become our cross to bear.  Be humble, accept it, and trudge along.  I lived like this for many years, so I know what sort of life that is.  It's dark and miserable.  I think it's rooted in falsehood, and in emotional wounds.  If you grew up suffering injustice constantly; in your home, family, school, work and felt powerless to do anything about it, suffering injustice for Jesus daily then becomes your identity.  You already identify with the victimhood.  Now, you have it validated and affirmed because Jesus suffered it, too.  Now your constant acceptance of injustice is ingrained and you don't speak up against injustice. 

In following the riots that broke out due to an injustice, I began to pray to God for His Justice.  God's Justice is always perfect, fitting, and meant to bring about the good in any situation.  God's Justice is really Him putting things in a Godly Order.  There may be pain involved, discomfort, inconvenience, etc., but in the end it is revealed that God's Justice brought it about.  I saw in reading the Old Testament and the Psalms that "saving justice" was a term used alot.  I wondered what God's saving justice was, then it dawned on me.  It was Jesus.  Jesus came and set things in their proper order, God's order. 

So don't be afraid to pray for God's justice.  It is a good thing.  It does not indicate, nor call down fire from heaven.  It isn't wishing evil on others.  It isn't always punishment, as most think.  It is a beautiful, holy order.  It is what is desperately needed today in the Church, and in the world. 

Look Not Upon Our Sins......

I have heard this for so long, it is said in the Mass.  "Look not upon our sins, but upon the faith of Your Church."  I would think in my heart, "I'm sorry Lord, but there doesn't appear to be much faith left to look upon, the sins are overtaking the weak faith."  It is certainly true now that we are seeing the incredible scope of faithlessness in the Church.  I believe however, it's a good thing.  As awful as it appears, it is a good thing.  The reason being, most of the Church is man made.  There are so many man-made edifices obstructing and obscuring the True Church, and the purpose of the True Church that they must be brought down, destroyed.  Unfortunately, most of us only know this to be the Church, this man made institution.  Many do not have the time, or the desire to discover the True Church and Jesus Christ in it; Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity.  The Catholic Church has become so worldly that most do not notice that something is terribly wrong, it's just the way it is.  I think the people who do know something is terribly wrong are probably those considered fanatics, or rigid.  All of this is very sad, and can be infuriating.  So much blindness!!  But, for the grace of God I would be blind also.  This is where I believe the words of Jesus apply, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  They honestly don't know.  We are sheep.  Sheep are followers of a shepherd. 

The Shepherds on the other hand.  I believe they do know what they are doing.  I don't care about lousy seminaries.  It does not take an intellectual giant to understand the Faith.  It doesn't require a degree to understand what faith demands.  It requires a love and fear of God the Father.  If they do not have even that, that basic requirement, it would do them good to remove themselves from their offices.  They are literally heaping condemnation and damnation upon themselves.  The fact that they are leading, and have led numerous sheep astray and to possible damnation should be cause enough for them to humble themselves and leave the Church. 

I wondered when the Mass was suspended all over the world what the fruit would be given the Lamb of God takes away the sins of the world.  I pondered the fact that we may begin to see sin manifest and overcome any goodness because the Mass, the Sacrifice, was being minimally offered, if at all.  I find it strange that no bishop has made the correlation between no Mass, increased violence and destruction.  A little reminder of how important the Sacrifice of the Mass is to the whole world, not just the fanatics that attend every day.  To you fanatics and rigid people, I say thank you.  Your attendance at Daily Mass has done the world a great service and won it much grace.  Keep up your prayers and sacrifices because they are the only thing that is keeping complete dominance of the evil one at bay during this time. 

Holiness #3

Sheen gave another reason why a crisis must come — “to prevent a false identification of the Church and the world.” Our Lord wanted his followers to be different from those who were not: I have taken you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.  (John 15:19)
https://www.ncregister.com/blog/joseph-pronechen/did-fulton-sheen-prophecy-about-these-times

I read this quote from Fulton Sheen and realize it confirms what the Lord is doing, and desires to do with those who will surrender.  I think this current crisis might be the opportunity for individuals, and the Catholic Church to leave the "world."   Not only us as individuals, but the Church itself was to be set apart.  There is certainly a fear of being set apart, that's true.  Being "singled out" is unpleasant, fearful.  There is strength and protection in numbers.  There is also the prevailing teaching, and societal rule of law that says you're nothing special so you should know God would never do that, set you apart.  He wants us in the world and only fanatics and people unable to deal with real life would think they should leave the world.  Who do you think you are?

Trust me.  I've heard it all.  From priests to laypeople, to family.  No one seems to understand what leaving the world means.  Their immediate response is "NO, you're supposed to be IN the world, just not OF the world."  Frankly, I see many, many Catholics who are very much OF the world.  They raise their children that way, also.  I see much of it as fear.  Fear that they, and their children will be unpopular, have no friends, be labeled as weirdos, fanatics, etc.  Bottom line is their fear of man, and their love of the world.  They just can't seem to see it. They are content to believe that they go to church, and bring their kids to church so they're good.  All good.  I don't know how many times I have heard that Catholic high schools are no better, in fact in some cases worse, than public high schools.  I was dismayed when I taught Religious Ed to fourth graders what they were exposed to, as Catholic children.  Ten year olds have a habit of revealing too much information.  I very often had to tell them nicely that they probably shouldn't share those things in class.  It made me sad, but angry to see and hear what was really going on in Catholic homes.  I don't think much has changed in the years since I quit teaching.  I think the root of the problem was parents who were uneducated in the faith, were excessively worldly, and very concerned about appearances. They had no firm Catholic identity, believing that all churches were the same.  That's still the problem in the Church.

I think this virus is the best opportunity there has been to jump off the train.  To make a firm decision to leave the world, and save yourselves and your children.  There isn't anything written about how to leave the "world".  It requires much prayer, desire, and trust in God.  Ask God in prayer to give you the desire to leave the world, and the wisdom to pursue it.  It requires a firm spine, something I did not have, but the Lord has taught me.  God has a plan for each person, each family and it is perfectly suited to you.  Whatever it is you need, ask for it.  Courage, perseverance, hope, direction, love, fortitude.  Ask for these things in your prayer, and the Lord will lead you where you need to go. 

Holiness #2

So, the fight has begun between you and God.  You are fighting to save the life you have created, and God is saying "this is not the life I desired for you."  You have it in your mind, though that your life is good, you worked hard to acquire everything that you have and have built.  You have this little kingdom!  These things are probably all true.  In addition to that, you may believe also that it was God's will you establish this little kingdom on earth to serve Him.  He obviously saw while you were building and did nothing to stop you.  We very often take this as God's approval.  It is His permissive will.  He gave us the gift of free will to use as we choose.  I learned that God does not violate our free will, but He can make your surroundings and environment such that you desire His Will.  God is so wise!  He does know what is best for us and our salvation, as well as the salvation of others, but it takes us so long to come to that!  We're busy fighting. God is waiting.

When we were losing our home to foreclosure, we were desperate to save it in the beginning.  It was 2008, and the economy was very bad.  I think more than anything, there is tremendous shame involved.  Shame.  I hate that word.  It was my constant companion for many years.  It is very difficult to go through because the "world" and banks are not your friend you find out quickly.  The vultures come out and begin circling, the phone is ringing and it feels like you're cornered.  Then, there are family and friends.  Everyone has advice.  Everyone is watching.  To say that you are praying, and trusting in God during this time is not what people want to hear.  They want to see action.  They want to see you save your life.  They know what they would do if they were in your position, and you're not doing it.  The stress!  As we were going through this, I felt God saying "let it go."  So, we did.  Although there was a certain peace about it, the storm was very often louder than that still small voice.  I think this was the beginning of being "set apart."  You would think that we would embrace that!  God the Father is setting us apart to make us holy and fit to do His Will.  But no, there was literally no joy in it.  It was overwhelming.  Spiritually, emotionally, physically. I suffered a painful miscarriage right after we left our home and were living with friends.  Providentially, it happened in a Catholic Church during a Retreat. I didn't know I was pregnant, I thought the pain and accompanying symptoms were due to the stress. This was in October of 2008.  On July 18 of that year, my daughter said she had a dream of "grandma in a beautiful gold frame, smiling and holding a baby."  At the time, I had no idea why she would dream that, but I see now.  God in His consolations!  

Looking back on all this, I see that "leaving the world" can be a very ugly, almost violent, thing.  Having two children and a skeptical husband along for the ride out can literally crush you.  I can honestly say though, I never would have done it on my own.  If the situations of failure, unemployment, deaths hadn't steered us out, we never would have gone.  I wouldn't want to ever go through it again, but I am grateful to God for permitting it.  It was necessary.  I just couldn't see it in the midst of it.

I told God once, or probably numerous times, in prayer that it felt like He was trying to kill us.  I told Him the Crosses were too many, and too harsh to handle all at once.  His response was "the Cross does kill.  It kills everything that hinders your relationship with Me."

I think the Lord has asked me to share this now because there are many who will be faced with this dilemma in the near future.  My advice to anyone going through this is to trust God, first and foremost.  Trust Him in spite of the crowd.  Do not worry about the opinions or judgments of "man."  Worry about pleasing God.  Worry about cooperating with Him because He does know best, even though it may not appear to make sense to you or others.  Pray.  There was no "Surrender Novena" when we were going through this, but I have one now and wish I had it then!  How beautiful and reassuring!  Pray, and do not fear.  Renounce fear as though it were a burglar banging on your door. That's exactly what fear is.  A thief.  Pray for grace! Although it is very difficult, it very well may be the opportunity God is using to "set you apart" and prepare you for His work, His Will. 

God is good and desires your good.  If anything or anyone tells you otherwise, they are a liar and in need of a boot.

 There is no longer the conflict and opposition which is supposed to characterize us.  We are influencing the world less than the world influences us.  There is no apartness.” Fulton Sheen

Holiness

I had a reminder this morning in prayer of when the Lord first started working in me, and my family.  Given my conversion came about in the midst of my mom's cancer and subsequent death in 1997, it was all very intense.  We had many signs, wonders, and love flowing from the Lord.  The Blessed Mother was very present.  This was all poured out on a family that truly was steeped in sin.  We are Catholic, but we weren't living the gospel.   Of five children, two were attending Mass regularly.  I wasn't one of them.  I had been away from the Church for about 10 years.  What we experienced then, which I knew nothing about, was God's Mercy.  I look back at that time, and am amazed that God saw fit to extend His Love and Mercy to us.  We absolutely and certainly did not deserve it.  But, that is Mercy! 

What I was reminded of was being told by a woman in a prayer group that "God wanted me holy."  I didn't understand.  At that time, I was going to daily Mass, praying the rosary daily, Novena's, serving the sick, teaching 4th grade Religious Ed; most of the things people do in that fervor to please God and spread that around as much as possible.  You really want to share what God gave you.  So, when she said that I didn't get it. I honestly didn't think of it, being "holy."  I simply was acting on what I was led to.  I brought it to a priest I was seeing at the time for direction.  He said that what it meant was we do not make ourselves holy.  God makes us holy.  He sets us apart, and begins His work.  It is our job to cooperate with what God is doing.  What we "do "does not make us holy....

This was a huge truth for me.  It completely changed how I viewed what God was doing and made me a little less likely to fight Him on everything.  Isn't that what we do?  When all hell cuts loose on you, you tend to rise up and fight it.  Fighting is also encouraged by fellow Catholics.  Fighting in the sense that you don't accept it, or at least you don't accept it laying down.  I agree, there is a time to stand firm and fight in the Lord.  But this isn't what I'm talking about.  We fight God and get in His way when we disagree with Him.  How do we disagree with Him and His plan to make us holy?  Well, an example may be to lose everything....but your life.  That doesn't seem right, or fair, or loving.  Why would God permit you to lose everything and not step in and save it all?  Because He knows best.  That's where the fight starts...... 

Mixtures from Vatican News

I was led to this article from Spirit Daily today.  I found it strange and unnerving.  You can read it for yourself here: https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2020-05/pontifical-council-interreligious-dialogue-ramadan-message.html.  

It reminded me of something I read a while back from a Protestant man named Derek Prince.  The book I read was called "Protection from Deception."  It was a good, easily understood scripturally based book.  After reading the above article, I went back to the book to see what it said exactly.

The Chapter was called "Mixtures Create Confusion and Division."

"A mixture of good and evil yields two main results: confusion and division.  Mixed messages contain grains of truth and falsehood, giving recipients two optional responses: they can focus on the good, or true, component and accept the bad along with it; or they can focus on the bad, or false, component, rejecting the good along with it.  

In either case, God's purposes are thwarted.  In the church, confusion always yields division; fault lines form according to people's focus.  The recent influx in signs and wonders indicates a mixture of spirits:  the Holy Spirit and unholy spirits.  

Warnings Against Mixtures

God warns against mixtures in the Old Testament.  Deuteronomy 22:9 instructs, "You shall not sow your vineyard with different kinds of seed, lest the yield of the seed which you have sown and the fruit of your vineyard be defiled.  Furthermore, (verse 10), You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together" and "You shall not wear a garment of different sorts, such as wool and linen mixed together" (verse 11).  God prohibits breeding mixed livestock, sowing with mixed seed, and wearing garments made of mixed material. 

The principle conveyed by these prohibitions is that when you serve the Lord, you should not mix two different types of things.  Sowing with mixed seed can represent a message comprised partly of truth, partly of error.  Wearing a garment of mixed material is like living simultaneously in accord with Scripture and in accord with the pattern of this world.  Allowing mixed livestock to breed can represent a Christian ministry group aligning itself with another group that is not Christian.  

 It is useful to note that when two different species are bred, their offspring is usually sterile.  For example, mating a donkey with a horse yields a mule-an animal incapable of reproducing.  Christian groups that join with "mates" of a different belief system-a different breed-often yield similar sterile results."

 Falsehood Cloaked in Truth

 Even accompanied by seeds of truth, evil is not to enter the Church.  We must not be passive or neutral regarding what we accept.  Proverbs 8:13 instructs, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil."  Compromising with evil is wrong, even sinful.  The devil enters via evil with a goal "to steal, and to kill, and to destroy" (John 10:10).  

You may remember that Pope Francis signed the "historic pledge of fraternity" in February of 2019 with the Muslims.  In reading the press releases since then, the wording coming from the Vatican makes it appear that we are now one.  I will leave it to you to discern what this may mean in light of the current crisis we are all living, as well as the closure and cancellation of all Masses throughout the world. 

Confirmation but no Consolation

This poll is from a Christian University.  Although there is no separation between Protestant and Catholic, I think from the fruit we are witnessing we can trust the results would apply to the Catholic population as well.  One other point that really stands out in this poll:  44% of Christians believe Jesus sinned while on earth.   In reality, how could this not have come about with most priests and pastors going to great pains to let everyone know, especially the "sinners" that Jesus was and is just. like. us.  Because Scripture clearly states that "he took upon himself our sin, who knew no sin" this erroneous belief has to come from the promotion of a false Christ and a false Gospel.  It is the fruit of false preaching.

The other numbers about the Holy Spirit and God are simply more fruit.  It should be a call for true repentance if there ever was one. 

From Christianheadlines.com

The latest findings from The American Worldview Inventory 2020 (AWVI 2020) show that some 44 percent of American believers think that Jesus sinned.
The survey also revealed a dramatic decline in the number of Americans who hold to a biblical worldview.
According to the survey, about 51 percent of American adults have a traditional view of God as opposed to 73 percent in 1991, a 22 percent drop from 30 years ago.
Regarding belief in Jesus, 44 percent of respondents who believe in Jesus, also believe he sinned, whereas 41 percent say he did not.
Fifty-two percent believe that “the Holy Spirit is not a living entity, but merely a symbol of God’s power, presence or purity."
Additionally, the survey revealed that more people believe in Satan (56 percent) than believe in God (51 percent) as an influential spiritual being. Additionally, 49 percent are unsure if God exists at all.
Director of Research at the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University and founder of the Barna Group, Dr. George Barna wrote in a statement regarding the survey’s finding, "Tens of millions of Americans consider themselves to be Christian but do not believe that God is really in control or cares what happens to them."
He noted the shift in worldview from thirty years ago, saying that people went from “learning and
thinking about God” to becoming “more self-absorbed”, rejecting the existence of absolute moral truth.

In an interview with CBN News, Barna shares that people act more on fear and rely on the government than on God who is “not in the equation” in difficult circumstances.
The AWVI 2020 also found that 51 percent of pastors on the Barna Church Panel reported an increase in virtual church attendance over in-person church attendance.
The recent publication of the AWVI 2020 is the third release of an annual series of surveys that estimates the number of adults who have a biblical worldview.
The assessment is based on 51 worldview-related questions that are drawn from eight categories of worldview application. Those questions are divided into queries regarding both beliefs and behavior.

Pharoah, Let My People Go

In 2010, when we were exiled to Nebraska and Iowa, I noticed something disturbing at all the Catholic Churches we visited.  It was a sign on all the doors to the church offices that said that if you needed financial help, or any help whatsoever, to call the 1-800 number listed to the local government.  The signs made it clear before you even went in, there was no help available here and call the government.  This was really disturbing to me, well actually it made me really angry.  We were very poor and stressed at the time, and so maybe that was why it hit me especially hard.  We were not looking for help from the Church, but it certainly made it clear there wasn't any help anyways.  I wondered how many people were actually desperate and looking for help, any help, and were confronted by that sign.  I saw it as the Church abdicating Her responsibility to help the poor, evangelize, and clothe the naked, to the government.  What I see as Pharaoh.  Why would the Catholic Church send people into captivity and slavery?  When you enter into the government welfare system, you essentially become a slave to the masters that are employed in that system.  Your loyalty is no longer to God, who loves you and has provided for you in your time of need through the Church.  Your loyalty and submissiveness is now to a cold government system that does not care for your soul, and in fact has the power to lead your soul to hell. You do their will, not God's.

We came back home to Michigan and saw it again.  This time at the Cathedral where we attended daily Mass.  It is in a poor area of the city, so there are many homeless and destitute.  There are also many programs to serve the poor in that area, thankfully.  I volunteered for a priest that worked at that Cathedral while we were trying to discern God's will and get back on our feet.  We were fairly desperate.  He began paying me for my work because he ran a non profit for a Dominican Republic program he started.  I was grateful because it was our only income at the time.  We were living in a hotel and eating peanut butter and jelly literally every day for two months.  My husband is an engineer and was looking diligently for work, but it was in 2011 and things were moving slow yet. The money Father paid me covered the hotel and the peanut butter and jelly each day.  The stress was unbelievable.  People, including me, do not realize what this sort of trial can do to one's mental, emotional, and spiritual state.  If you have issues with trust in God, they will certainly manifest during this time.  It can become a storm in itself.  Anyways, Father was actually quite fearful, and was projecting that fear to me.  I thought it strange given he was a priest that he appeared to have no faith.  One day, he was so distraught that he made me call the government number for emergency housing.  I didn't want to, and knew they would be no help, but I did it for his sake.  He was shocked to find out there wasn't a house just sitting somewhere for free that we could just move into.  He thought that was awful, it was "emergency housing" wasn't it?  The irony of this story is the rectory he was living in.  It was a very large rectory on a little lake.  He was in retirement, so that is where the Bishop placed him.  Downstairs, there was a very large apartment.  It had a kitchen, a living room, and a large bedroom with four beds in it.  Empty.  I would have to go downstairs sometimes and I would look at that, and be dumbfounded.  He said that the other priest liked to keep it empty in case family or friends wanted to visit.  In fact, his own niece and her husband had just visited and had a wonderful time.  Hopefully, you see what I am getting at here.  Sometimes I think of that time, and I still can't wrap my head around it.  There seems to be no wisdom in the faithful anymore.  Their first thought to any dilemma is sending people away to the government.  Why?  What has happened to charity, and taking care of one's own in the Church?  It literally has turned into every man for himself.  In order to be a part of the Catholic Church, you must be self sufficient and able to support them, and also go on welfare if you are in need.  My spirit tells me God is not pleased with this.  Not at all.
At this same Church, I did ask the man that ran the offices about what their procedure was for helping needy families.  There is a very high percentage of Hispanics in this church, so I was curious.  He said they hired a girl to vet people, and she was very good at it.  She was "sharp" and wasn't easily deceived.  They had a tight system. The main priest there, the rector, gave numerous homilies about the poor.  In one, he said the gospel does not say we have to give money to the poor.  Another, he said a needy person came in looking for help.  He was glad to report that due to our generosity, they were able to provide him with a one week bus pass.  This is a parish that takes in $12,000.00 per week.  The priests are from an order, so they are not on the diocese payroll.  Another time, he said we did the poor a disservice if we didn't offer to take them shopping instead of just handing them money to spend on booze and smokes.  Then, the next week told us we were not to make contact with any of the homeless because that was the advice of the city police department.  He felt it prudent to follow their advice. I challenged him after Mass regarding the Scriptures do tell us to give alms to the poor, and that even Pope Francis would have envelopes of money handed out to the poor.  He said with a red, angry face that he had never heard of that.  

Honestly.  I don't understand what has happened to the Church.  It has literally become a fearful business enterprise.  It is so disappointing. It would explain though the response of the Church during this current crisis.  They have so lost the spirit of Charity that I believe they don't know how to respond anymore.  They have become so used to receiving, that they have forgotten how to give.  This same church also began to funnel any donations like clothes, food, etc. to the Congregational Church down the street for them to distribute.  There was great pride in that, it was consuming too much time and this would free up that time for other things.  What other things?  This is just a small sampling of what the Lord led us through, what we witnessed, experienced, in the Church.  He said in prayer it was a "microcosm" of what was happening in the larger Catholic Church.   Which leads me to the following discernment of hearing "Pharaoh,let my people go!" the last month during prayer.

Although this current crisis is a terrible trial, the Lord desires to use it to purify His people, His Church.  He desires to lead them into the wilderness, or the desert, so that He can speak to their hearts and reconcile with them once more.  He desires to be "Father" and "God" to His people once again.  He desires repentance, trust, love and reverence of Him alone.  This will not happen, however, because the Church has sent His people into slavery.....to the government to provide for all their needs.  They turn to the secular government, rather than the Church, for consolation.  Can you imagine if Moses told the Israelite's to go back to Egypt if they wanted food or water?  Moses interceded for them, and God answered.  This apparently established a foundation for the way God desires to provide for His people.  It was meant to establish the relationship God desired to have with His people.  He was Provider. Nothing has changed with God, we have changed. God now desires that we learn Him once again.  Pharaoh, the government, will have to let His people go, but God's people also have to let go of Pharaoh.

The Lord's Counsel

This morning during prayer:

Unless the priests repent-truly repent-their efforts are in vain. 

"Your prayers, offered from the heart, should be for the granting of that grace of a true, godly sorrow for My Priests.  Unless the scales are removed from their eyes, there will be no hope for my people.  Do not concern yourselves with programs, novelties, building man made edifices on sand.  These things are useless and will not bring about the desired results.  Your focus, now in these dangerous times-should be prayers for the conversion of My Priesthood.  You could much better live without food or shelter than to live without the Priesthood.  Pray that they would rend their hearts, not their garments- I am waiting."

The scales being removed from their eyes speaks of St. Paul's conversion.  The Lord loves His Priests very much, but that they would love Him in return is His greatest desire.  I heard at the end of this:

"I would give them My Heart if they would but ask!" 

Livelihood

Ecclesiasticus 34:21-22

A meagre diet is the very life of the poor,
to deprive them of it is to commit murder.

To take away a fellow-man's livelihood is to kill him
to deprive an employee of his wages is to shed blood.


I think it is coming to this point.  What an evil mess everything is in.  The thought that came to me today regarding this was:

If a leader of a state, or those in government advocate and delight in the right to kill innocent babies, and they were elected by the people to enforce that right, what do people expect?  What response should we expect from governors whose popularity was due to their unfettered belief that babies should be able to be killed for the convenience of the mother?  We all know that very few babies are murdered because the mothers life is at stake.  We should just be honest about it.

So, now it has advanced.  This spirit of Death that everyone wanted a right to.  Nearly every business has been closed.  The State and the Government have taken livelihoods in effect by the lock downs that have been enforced in many states.  As it says above, to do that is to kill a man. I would imagine that the same people who felt smug and assured in voting for legal, radical abortion rights never dreamed this same government would bring death to them.

I am surprised the Church is remaining so silent on all of this.  Apparently, after the wicked shaming from the sex scandals, they have been rendered to their proper place in the corner.  This is usually the desired effect from shaming.  It is a quick, useful tool in getting dominance and control over another in a relatively short period of time.  It's also great at silencing and destroying souls.

There have been a few prominent shamers that have caught my attention...those in positions of power but falsely portraying humility, service, unity.  Obama and Pope Francis are two of the most prominent and powerful figures that employ this tool.  It saddens me to see from Pope Francis, but does not surprise me at all from Obama. They are very similar in their methods of bringing about their ideals. 

Anyways, my real concern is what we are all looking forward to in the Church and to a lesser extent in the world.  So strange that Social Justice has been so prominent in the Church for the last decade or more, in fact it's essentially "our faith."  But this whole debacle, people being completely destroyed, livelihoods taken away, closed Churches, no Sacrifice of the Mass, doesn't earn a peep or a creative, constructive idea from anyone.  Who can figure it out?  No doubt in my mind there is "something goin' on around here."   

Blaming or Collective Responsibility?

It's true that blaming others often lacks mercy.  It can be a vicious snare and cycle.  However, in order for the Church to glorify God once again, and proclaim the True Christ, the Church needs to repent.  In pondering this, the Lord reminded me of the Readings for Monday, April 13. 

Peter, saying "Men of Israel, hear these words:  Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with mighty works and wonders and signs which God did through him in your midst, as you yourselves know--this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men."  

Would this be considered blaming?  Was Peter blaming this crowd of men for the death of an innocent man?  But, where is the mercy?  Didn't Jesus forgive them all from the cross anyways?  Didn't Jesus say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do?"  So, why is Peter now blaming them for Jesus' death?  Didn't the mercy Jesus won on the Cross cover this?  Why bother to accuse them now? What's done is done.  It seems possible also that many of the men in the crowd weren't actually responsible for killing Jesus personally.  Why is Peter placing the burden of blame on them, or we could call it, as Pope Benedict does, "collective responsibility."  Which ever you desire to call it, it is the same.  Blame.  The Merriam Webster dictionary states the definition of blame as:

assign responsibility for a fault or wrong. 

Or, there is Matthew 23:27

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!

You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside

but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.  In the same way,

on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

If this were spoken in the Church today, there would be gasps and scandal for sure.  This would automatically be deemed "judging."  The person who dared utter it would be shamed and silenced. 

This is a huge problem in the Catholic Church.  It is actually a worldly response that has been adopted.  Jesus was speaking the truth to the Pharisees, hoping to pierce their hardened and prideful hearts.  He spoke the truth in this way because He loved them, and desired them to seek His mercy.  So, whatever word you choose; blaming, shaming, accusing...if done correctly with the correct motivation and prayerfully desiring the proper outcome can bring about repentance and conversion. 
There is just such a misunderstanding today about "blame."  Our refusal to "assign responsibility for a fault or wrong" has led to this judgement!  Mercy has been presumed upon, which is a sin in itself, and has misguided an untold amount of souls!  I do believe that the laity has a burden in this, however, the priests bear the greatest burden.  They are the spiritual fathers, the leaders, the shepherds of the sheep.  It is their burden to speak the truth in or out of season.  I don't completely agree that the entire burden lays upon the laity as one prominent Catholic speaker proclaimed after his brush with death.  That would be like blaming the sheep for scattering because the wolves came while the shepherd was asleep.  Or like blaming the children of a family for the sins of the parents.  I also don't agree with many acting as though not one negative word can be said about priests.  That too has led to their identity crisis.  That the priests are above constructive criticism, or accountability has contributed greatly to this arrogance we see and the error being propagated, even by Bishops!  It is God's Mercy that calls out the nature of the sin, and demands repentance.  Without it, the Church will simply remain stagnant and irrelevant.

Before anyone thinks that this sounds cold hearted, unforgiving, or critical please know that my family has interceded for priests for the last ten years.  It is not the typical intercession as most think of it.  We don't simply pray and fast for priests.  We suffer their sins.  These apparently are the priests who are dear to Jesus, but are Judas's nonetheless. Their evil, wickedness, and betrayal is placed upon us so that they may have the room to repent and turn back to Jesus and seek His Mercy.  It is very intense, serious, and difficult.  It took a good many years to understand that this was a ministry of Mercy when it was so very dark and awful.  There is mercy for priests, but they must acknowledge their sinfulness and betrayal of Christ and His sheep and turn back. There are very good, holy priests in our Catholic Church and if not for them, we would surely be lost.  God bless them.  What I am speaking of pertains to the priests who have betrayed our Lord, and they do know it. 

So, to those who are graced with a beautiful parish, ministry and priest, praise and thank God!  But, pray for the wider Church.  There are many, many parishes who are dying on the vine for lack of holiness, lack of spiritual direction, lack of a true Shepherd, lack of Truth.  It is a suffering that can and has led to tremendous discouragement, confusion, and despair.  I don't even want to consider the number of souls that have left our Lord in the Sacraments, have been lost for lack of knowledge, have been lost for eternity as a result of the crisis of faith in the priesthood. 

I read this quote from a Protestant minister named Derek Prince.  I think it could be applied to the current situation:

"I think some churches act like refrigerators, slowing but not stopping the corruption of the fruit they contain-their congregations"

The prayer that is most needed for our priests in this moment is for the grace of true repentance.  They cannot lead others to repentance and salvation if they themselves have not acknowledged their own sinfulness and repent.  Then, the laity will be called to repentance through their holiness and desire to once again please God the Father.  I'm certain our prayers for them, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, will be heeded.  Pray also they have the grace of true humility in order to accept and cooperate with these graces. 

The Anger of God

Since 2009, I have felt in my spirit that God was angry.  Because of the climate in the Church, I felt it must just be me.  Everyone was gushing kindness, but it struck me as false.  They were pushing mercy, but not repentance, this was bothersome also.  I had the thought that God could just be angry at me, I certainly earned it.  Yet, when I would go to Mass and witness the kindness and mercy my spirit would start to experience a terrible pressure.  As an example, on the Feast of Corpus Christi which is the feast for the Body and Blood of Christ, which is the source and summit of our Catholic faith, the priest used the homily to tell how that day, he went to the Methodist ministers Ordination ceremony because he was the leader in the Ecumenical Council.  He told us it was charitable, kind to show his support for our Methodist brothers.  On the Feast of Corpus Christi!? when 70% of the Catholics sitting in front of him don't believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist?  Well, the anger that rose up in my spirit was more than I could stand.  I felt I was going to pass out.  Not only that, it felt as though this was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.  It was beyond trembling.  In addition to this, in the bulletin that day there was an announcement that there would be a tour we could take part in at the Hindu temple if we were interested in learning more.  We would be surprised to learn how much we had in common with our Hindu "brothers and sisters".  I felt pushed to wait for Father after Mass and ask him about this.  I told him I felt God's anger at this and his face turned purple and he told me that he had the Bishop's approval.  Then I was dismissed.  This is just one example.  There have been many other instances where for some reason, I could not look at the priest offering Mass.  I thought that was strange.  It was as if someone was literally turning my head away while he was talking.  One day, I finally thought maybe this is God, so I asked Him during the Eucharist what it was I was experiencing.  I heard "he has desecrated my altar."  I didn't ask the Lord how, or why.  I only knew then that God was turning His face from him, through me.  Whenever these things would happen, I would pray for mercy for the particular priest.  I also always pray that they have the grace to repent and accept God's mercy.  Judas didn't.
God's Anger. I ponder why this is so hard for the Church to accept.  In twenty years of going to numerous Catholic churches in a handful of states, I've never heard one priest mention God's Divine Anger.  In fact, God is not mentioned at all.  He is our Father, and He is never talked of, adored, revered in His own house.  There are the prayers addressed to God during Mass, but it does not seem that the priest believes he is addressing God on our behalf. He is seemingly addressing us.
I felt to read Luke Chapter 23 the other night.  The Passion.  I've read it numerous times, but there must be something I will see, I thought.  I was reading, and thinking yes, this is all familiar, when I got to the verse, 40: "But the other spoke up and rebuked him. "Have you no fear of God at all?" There it was.  It stopped me, and confirmed for me what I have felt in my heart for years.  The Catholic Church has lost it's fear of God.  If you read the Old Testament (it really is the Word of God even though it seems to be forgotten and never spoken of!) you will see and know there are many attributes of God the Father.  Anger is certainly one of them.  I believe that by rejecting God's attribute of anger, God Himself as Father has been rejected.  Many people act ashamed of the Old Testament, and are absolutely scandalized by the Psalms.  It has been to our total detriment. Because of the jolly "God" and the strictly kind and compassionate Jesus that has been taught, people will now be completely shocked and traumatized by God's chastisement.  I know I was. When you are told over and over again that Jesus is Mercy, Jesus only cares that you come back to Him, Jesus will heal your wounds, Jesus has forgiven your sins, and are not told the many somewhat painful ways this is accomplished it can be quite shocking; emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It can literally create a whole new set of wounds! There was a point that I felt I could not go on.  I was growing angry at God because it didn't align with what was being taught. There didn't seem to be any wisdom available from priests, either.  They were just as clueless as I was as to what I was experiencing.
I would liken it to when I was pregnant with my first child.  I have three sisters and none of them told me the truth about what to expect.  They all thought it would scare me.  Well, after 23 hours of labor without even a Tylenol, I was angry.  Angry that it would have been less traumatic had they just told me the truth, I could have had time to prepare mentally and accept it.  I read books, went to Lamaze, but personal experience from someone close to you who supposedly loves you and wants what is best for you would have been nice.
I think this is what the Church has done.  The priests don't want to scare anybody and the Old Testament can be very scary.  God is shown in all His Glory.  His Justice, His Mercy, His Love, His Punishments, His Discipline.  God is not just one thing.  He is many in One, worthy of all reverence and praise!  It all comes from His Love.  This is what I believe I am understanding in my prayer.  This is what has provoked God's Anger toward His children.
Many are denying this is a punishment from God.  They may be right.  God has permitted it, however.  He did not protect us from it.  An odd thing came in our family rosary the other night.  My daughter said that she received God permitted this to spare us His anger.  That is something to ponder.  If our lack of fear of God, reverence for God and the rejection of His Commandments has provoked His anger, may it be His Mercy that we are no longer able to offer the Sacrifice of the Mass sacrilegiously or even blasphemously, any longer?  He still loves us because He is faithful.  But, if He can no longer tolerate the unconfessed sin, the sloth, the wordliness in His Body, it may be His mercy to permit this until we come to our spiritual senses and repent. 
And one final thing.  There are people God has called as intercessors to stand in the gap.  These people suffer the justice of God so that the true object of God's anger and wrath has room to repent. So, do not think that God is not Just.  He is.  Someone else may be suffering on your behalf while you are being called to repentance.  Keep them in your prayers, it is a very difficult ministry.   

Hope in God Alone

2Corinthians 1:8-11

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the Province of Asia.  We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.  Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.  But this has happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us.

Commentary:
What they did in their distress: They trusted in God.  And they were brought to this extremity in order that they should not trust in themselves, but God.  Note, God often brings his people into great straits, that they may apprehend their own insufficiency to help themselves, and may be induced to place their trust and hope in His all sufficiency.
Our extremity is God's opportunity.  In the mount will the Lord be seen; and we may safely trust in God, who raises the dead.  God's raising the dead is a proof of His Almighty Power.  He that can do this, can do anything, can do all things, and is worthy to be trusted at all times.
If we should be brought so low as to despair even of life, yet we may then trust in God, who can bring back not only from the gates, but from the jaws of death.
Past experiences are great encouragements to faith and hope, and they lay great obligations to trust in God for time to come.  We reproach our experiences if we distrust God in future straits, who has delivered as in former troubles. (Matthew Henry)

I couldn't say it any better.  All I can say from the experience of our own hurricane and pandemic twelve years ago is that the above is extremely hard to put into practice, especially in front of unbelieving friends and family.  If you are very weak in peer pressure, now would be the time to cast that aside.  It is very difficult to please God and family/friends, nearly impossible.  It may be that you must choose one or the other.  Choose wisely.
You may also hear many times that God only helps those that help themselves, that you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, that you need to put on your big boy or big girl pants, that you should be acting as though it is all on you, etc., etc.  People may mean well, but none of these sayings are helpful or true when God Himself took your bootstraps, and your pants.  The words of Jesus, "whoever tries to save their life will lose it" are very true.  Much time is lost, and much sin committed in trying to save your life. Many will do whatever they can to save their worldly life.  If this is not God's will, you will find yourself devastated, angry, and resentful.
If you truly desire to please God and follow His will, resolve now to surrender.  Surrender it all no matter what.  Pray for the grace of detachment, and the Blessed Mother will surely grant it. 

What I Don't Miss about the Mass

It's been two weeks since our family has been to Mass.  I used to love the Mass and couldn't wait to go.  My daughters and I went to daily Mass for five years, then due to circumstances only God understands, we weren't able to any longer.
I had noticed the last few years that for some reason, the Mass was becoming laborious.  I felt oppressed, stressed, distracted and frustrated.  Since we've been away, I've had time to ponder why I feel almost relieved that there is no Mass.  It sounds awful, but true.  The only part of the Mass that I loved were the readings, and the Eucharist.  I continued to labor through it because it is Jesus in the Eucharist.  He died for us.  It is His Death, brought forth on the altar, that drew me and kept me coming back.  He alone is worthy of our Praise! The rest of it, however, was exhausting and draining.  Burdensome in a worldly way.  It was as if the weight of the world was hanging in the air, and coming out of the mouths on the altar.  It was conflicting and aggravating. So, here is my list of The reasons I do not miss the Mass:

1.  We no longer have to suffer the patronizing, pleading, manipulating and very often down right lying all done in the Name of Jesus.
2.  We no longer have to suffer the worship of ourselves, our feelings, our weaknesses (or sin as it is usually called by God).
3.  We no longer have to bear the emotional burdens of the priest or his political beliefs, couched in Jesus terms.
4.  We no longer have to be subjected to the incessant forced "community" and "family" pressures.
5.  We no longer have to have Advent and Lent, supposedly the most holy times of the Church year, be dominated by capital campaigns and CSA. The near constant desire for money, at least in our parish, had become nearly sinful and dominated the season of Advent and Lent.
6. We no longer have to be subjected to the musical performances by the cantors.  Many weeks, I fully expected the church to burst into a standing ovation for their "great singing" or you could call it "entertaining."
7.  We no longer have to clap and fake joy over every small volunteer act or mention.
8.  We no longer have to cringe at the bizarre interpretations of the gospels, see #1.
9.  We no longer have to be interrupted in our few moments of silence before receiving the Eucharist by the stragglers who insist on continuing on with the Sign of Peace, even though we are in the midst of the "Lamb of God."
10.  We are free of the guilt that was always felt after Mass for feeling rather empty and wondering what the gospel was even about this week.

As I get older, I see that the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is not simply a social gathering of "family." As I grow in my faith, I desire to worship God properly, in Spirit and in Truth.  This has seemed nearly impossible in the Catholic Church of late.  The spirit of the world has so permeated it that God the Father is nowhere to be found and a false image of Jesus has been promoted.  A Jesus that is pleasing to the world, and is concerned about pleasing men.  The Mass is not about us.  Not in the way that it has been made out to be.  The Sacrifice of the Mass is our means of worshiping God the Father.  It is our means of reconciling with the Father, through the death of Jesus His Son.  The Father instituted this for us, yes, but it is not to be about us.  The priest is supposed to be offering the Sacrifice to God on our behalf, to forgive our sins, to reconcile us with Him, the Father and Creator of all things.  The priest isn't supposed to be reading the prayers addressed to God to us,as though to placate us, to seek our favor but that is certainly what is feels like.  It is as though the entire meaning and purpose of Mass has been lost.  This needs to be restored through repentance. 
I truly hope that when the lock down is lifted, we don't go back to our old way of doing things.  I truly hope that this trial has it's effect, the effect God desires of such trials.